Open Letters · Thoughts

This is Me Cherishing Your Goodbye 

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It’s been long months but feels like it’s already been a decade when you say goodbye; funny how I used to feel it on the contrary, but frankly speaking even before everything was perfect and pure I always expected that one day you will say goodbye and yet its still feels like a nightmare. It was like you brought me to a new place I never thought that exist, entice me then went home alone;

But I still hold firmly to our memories, In fact, I place them into a frame wishing they’ll never fade. Hoping that you’ll come back and settle there for good or at least show me my way back home. But instead what I’ve got is the cold and rude way of yours saying it’s over.

How Am I supposed to survive this? Why did you leave me at times when I badly need your guidance and support? I don’t know where to turn to. Why did you leave? Is it because I’m not pretty enough? Or is it because you found someone else. That is how I used to judge you leaving me; now it was more than a heartache that almost tear me apart but instead I see it as a training ground for me to be more mature and wiser before I’ll get my happy ending. It’s a painful process beautifying my soul.

Your goodbye made me feel so lost and think so little of myself at the same time motivated me to do things alone that I thought are impossible. It also helps me to sort things in life, like what must be my priority and really deserve, most importantly the do’s and dont’s in a relationship but what I really like the most of it is I realize that we can only know someone’s true color after the breakup. The pain that your goodbye causes me before opens my eye to see life and relationship in a new perspective. So there is no sense hating nor blaming you for what I’ve been through, although it took me a long time to cope up but I certainly enjoyed a lot on my journey creating a better version of myself.

This is me from that little girl who mourns your goodbye into a lady who cherish it so much.

p.s

Thank you to the generosity of my classmate who allowed me to use her photo on this blog. 🙂 ❤

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